Fine Dining for Babies is a satirical cookbook for raising nepo babies which I wrote and designed. It’s available in North America, Europe, Asia and Australia.
If you would like to discover recipes such as Bilingual Alphabet Soup and Gold Leaf PB&J, or delve into chapters like Weaning with Meaning and The Diaper Sommelier, you can find a copy here (and in most high street bookshops).
They say you’re never long out of the frying pan before you’re into the fire. And indeed, such wisdom holds true.
Whether you call them diapers, or nappies, we all know that these precious padded protectors hold a gastronomic history of our young one’s recent repast. But were you aware that you can deduce what your infant has eaten with just a whiff? See, not only can you become an expert in cooking baby food but identifying it afterwards too.
You may be wondering why this skill would be useful. Well, on the off chance that you’re not personally curating your offspring’s meals, this ability ensures you can check that they’re still partaking in the crème de la crème of infant nourishment. Now you can be privy to any sneaky sub-par biscuits during a playdate and quickly discern if the nursery’s offerings truly justify its princely invoice.
So, what aromas should you be looking out for? Well, if you’re finding strong metallic top notes it’s likely that this is due to your child consuming asparagus. A moment to cherish. ‘Briny’ scents are another exciting discovery. These are produced after seafood such as salmon and monkfish. You’ll also want to get some methane and sulphurous base notes, which signify a diet rich in proteins and vegetables respectively. And fear not if your child is producing unscented symphonies. This could mean that they’ve been eating lots of probiotics, fruits like apples, pears, and bananas and whole grains. All of which are glorious for your baby’s gut flora. However, on a rare occasion, you may come across digestion deposits that smell unusually chemical and sickly sweet. These are the signifiers that your child has unfortunately come across over- processed foods. In case of this, try to keep yourself composed and embark on a little detective work to trace the origin. Only once you have found the potential source, should you call your friend, who’s a lawyer, to discuss next steps. Practice makes perfect, so use every diaper change as an opportunity to refine your nose because safeguarding gourmet standards starts from the bottom up.